Secrets to choosing the right pillow
It’s both easier, and harder, than you might think
Great morning to you, New Day community!
This past weekend I finally bought a new pillow to sleep on.
I had been starting to notice that I needed a new one over the last couple months.
As you might imagine, chiropractors are assumed to have opinions on pillows and the inside scoop about where to get them.
And so on Saturday, I got in the car and headed out to Kohl’s in the Lincolnwood Town Center– straight up Lincoln from New Day in Chicago. 😂 (isn’t that where you go when you need things?)
My last pillow, a rather light and bendable memory-foam knockoff, was purchased by me at the very same Kohl’s in 2008. And so without any hesitation and like any normal person, I chose to do the exact same thing again. Hey- it worked last time!
Not surprisingly, they didn’t sell a pillow that resembled the one I had purchased 13 years ago.
But I did end up buying a pillow there! And after 1 night of sleeping on it, so far so good! 😴
I get questions from practice members constantly about whether or not they need a new pillow, and how to choose one. And now when I’m fresh off my pillow-buying experience, it’s a perfect time for me to discuss it!
“So how do you know you might want or need a new pillow?”
The first secret to pillow buying is knowing that you should buy one. This sounds obvious, but it isn’t necessarily as I’ll explain.
If you aren’t getting enough support for your head and neck as you sleep, or if you’re getting TOO MUCH from an over-puffy pillow, that will cause tension in your neck and upper back, which may lead to pain, misalignments in the spine, poor sleep, and headaches.
If you are waking up with any of those experiences on a regular basis, you MIGHT need a new pillow. MIGHT. Do not immediately assume it’s the pillow!
Second, if you find that you are constantly trying to readjust, puff, fluff, or re-arrange your pillow so that you can be comfortable, you also might need a new pillow. MIGHT.
Why aren’t I saying “DEFINITELY need”?
I’m going to say something here that is not popular.
And it is the same logic that I would also apply to the following 1) new desk chairs 2) new shoes 3) new insoles for your shoes 4) new mattresses.
Many people out there, in their search for a new pillow, (or mattress, shoes, ergonomic desk, or the like) are trying to use a band-aid to do the work of surgery.
Put differently they’re trying to use a retainer before they’ve had braces.
What I mean is– for many people there is an underlying problem with misalignments in the spine and an overactive nervous system in a stress-based state.
If that’s the real problem, and you’re trying to buy something simply to reduce your symptoms, or worse yet to discipline and force your body into “proper alignment,” any experience of a positive outcome is destined to be short-lived.
Or, buying a new pillow when the pillow is not the problem could actually make you worse!
To summarize, make sure that you’re getting the care you need to put your spine into alignment and put your nervous system into a state that supports your feeling good and being healthy.
If that is the case, which it probably is if you’re a New Day practice member and you’re reading this message in an email, then that means you can TRUST yourself and your body to know that you need a new pillow, and to choose a pillow.
“OK, how do I choose a pillow?”
“There are so many choices, how do you narrow it down?”
We live in a world where there are many choices. Possibly too many (which would help explain why I’m more comfortable at the Lincolnwood Town Center than researching online!)
My second secret to choosing a pillow is to go see, touch, and press on the pillows in person, rather than relying on your analysis of photos, product descriptions, and online reviews.
The problem with reviews, especially in this situation, is that you don’t know the state of the person’s spine or nervous system writing the review.
Think about it. What if the review that says “this pillow is amazing” was actually written by a morbidly obese person who doesn’t see a chiropractor and has had two spine surgeries?
That’s an extreme example. But the point is, sometimes you won’t know based off of a review if something will work for you, because everyone is different.
Even your “average American” is likely far below the level health and body awareness than you are (again, you are probably a New Day practice member receiving Network Spinal care), so their experience of life, and pillows, is going to be different.
The third secret to choosing a pillow is deceptively simple.
Here it is: you need to choose a pillow that is going to have you feel comfortable and relaxed both on your side and on your back (stomach sleeping is a no-no and should be avoided!).
Since the pillow needs to be good for both back and side-sleeping, it needs to be puffy enough at the edges to fill the space between your ear and shoulder in side-sleep, but yielding enough so that the weight of your head will compress the pillow down a bit. Again, this is why seeing the pillow in person will help.
Some people really like down pillows for this reason– puffy, yet yielding.
I, however, do not like down because I find that it gets too hard, packed down, and uncomfortable under my neck. So personally, I prefer a synthetic material.
This advice that the pillow be comfortable most likely means that you should avoid “contour pillows” or anything else out there that claims it will put (ie force) your spine and body into “proper” alignment. These can really do more harm than good, in my opinion.
I repeat, do NOT choose something that will have your neck and upper back muscles tense up due to lack of comfort or support, no matter how well-intentioned it might seem!
My fourth secret is that your pillow should be cheap and inexpensive.
Why do I say this?
First, what if you don’t like it? You don’t want to find that you’re forcing yourself to use a pillow because it was expensive and you don’t want to buy another one.
There was a pillow that I gravitated toward when I first got to Kohl’s. It was on the thinner side and also memory foam like my last one. But it wasn’t the same. I normally enjoy getting shopping done quickly, but I felt hesitant about leaving with this pillow.
And then I saw that it was $50! I put it back.
I’d feel much better trying and not liking a $15 pillow than a $50 pillow (this message is Suze Orman approved 😉)
The second reason your pillow should be cheap is that people change, and so do their spines!
In fact, I recommend that if you are new to my care you refrain from purchasing a new pillow, shoes, desk, mattress, etc until you’ve been in care for a month or two. Because your spine and body is changing and you are becoming more connected and sensitive to your own needs for health and happiness.
Otherwise, if you make such purchases too soon before your spine has a chance to change for the better, your healthier spine is going to be sleeping on something that you chose under different (less healthy) conditions. You could mess yourself up again!
Like Einstein said, the problem cannot be solved from the consciousness that created the problem ✨✨✨
And then you might find that you need new or different pillows more frequently as you continue care and continue changing, and also as your job or lifestyle changes.
To summarize (I know this was a long blog) the 4 secrets to choosing a new pillow are 1) make sure you actually need one 2) see them in person 3) puffy, but yielding for both back and side sleeping and 4) cheap.
I hope you found this blog helpful! Please let me know when I see you this week at your adjustments 💖☀️✨
